I reluctantly wrote this post months ago, but the problem seems to be rearing it’s ugly head again, so I decided to go ahead and post it now. You know I don’t like dwelling on the negative, but I wish some people would remember that harboring resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die. Jealousy just begets the same poison injected straight into the vein.

Sydney 1983, Duran Duran fans kindly showing me the sights while Nick was busy in the studio

Normally I refuse to dignify this behavior by responding, but I feel some boundaries are in need of enforcing. I received a nasty comment towards someone that writes great guest blog posts for me, simply for being a Duran Duran fan, so what? Belittling someone talented and brave enough to submit articles is so unbecoming. It goes without saying that I moderated that remark straight into the trash. GET OVER IT! Or better still, step up to the plate and prove you can write equally as well.

Anyone can submit posts here, regardless of race, color, creed or band affiliation. In fact, I welcome it.  All you have to do is choose a subject pertinent to the blog, and write something interesting, with pictures, edited well enough to post, and send it to guestblogforjewels at gmail dot com. Please be sure to send only your own original material. We do reserve the right to choose what we publish, and to make any editorial changes we feel necessary. Submitting is not a guarantee of and/or when it will be posted. If we post your piece, we are more than happy to link back to your blog providing you send the corresponding links with your submission.

Another woman insists on writing vile things about my ex husband’s new girlfriend on my facebook page (I delete those too). NEWS FLASH: he is not your husband, and he hasn’t been mine for twenty years! Why should either of us care who he dates? The fact my daughter speaks highly of her, and Nick has been all sweetness and light since she entered his life makes her score high in my book! Trust me, a happy ex husband is way better than a grumpy one when you share a daughter in common.

Astrid Wyman, Andy Taylor, Julie Anne Rhodes, Steve Strange and Francesca Thyssen

The vast majority of Duran Duran fans are some of the coolest, kindest, funniest people I’ve ever met, and I am truly grateful for your support. I have certainly received my share of unfounded and misguided remarks, too. Yes, that includes Andy Taylor, although I was more amused than insulted by his book. We each have our own perspectives. It doesn’t change my reality unless I let it, but it has obviously upset theirs.

Another disgruntled woman recently vented her anger on my wall over Nick’s oversight in not welcoming her backstage after a gig, then called him a liar, because his security people told her he had to leave straight after the show. He did, it was the weekend of Mark Ronson’s wedding in France, but regardless – what makes people think that public figures owe them more than the performance rendered for the ticket they purchased?

Tatjana Rhodes

Where does all this entitlement come from? I can’t believe how many emails I get from incensed people complaining they went to a bandmembers’ house, and were refused an autograph or face time. First, I am an EX wife – I don’t know why you think I can help, but I will share some insight with you.

Say you were a doctor, how would you like it if I showed up on your doorstep, uninvited, after office hours, demanding you discuss my medical care? Beyond how disrespectful that is to you professionally, what about your family whose time I would also be imposing on? Do you really believe you deserve that precious little personal time he or she has more than their own child?  Life in the fishbowl is not always as charmed as you may think. No one wants or should be expected to be “on duty” 24/7. Put yourself in their shoes, and show a little of the respect you would like in return. You’re much more likely to get your smiling photo with them then.

Julie Anne & Nick Rhodes

Here’s a great way to let go of your resentments and jealousies – celebrate your similarities with that person, instead of focusing on your differences. Let their talents and strengths inspire yours, rather than make you feel “less than.” You will be vastly happier, and it makes life so much more pleasant for everyone around you. Still can’t let it go? Enjoy your poison, but please keep your venenmous remarks about my daughter’s father, his friends and fans, off of my blog and facebook page. No one here wants to read it.

PS. I have a burning question – what do people do with SO many autographs and photos of their idols?

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  • April 10, 2012
    3:52 am
  • April 10, 2012
    9:38 am

    SO happy you posted this. One thing twitter and facebook have shown is how friendly and funny some celebs are and how completely out of line some of their fans are. Looking around anywhere there are celebs (including a meet and greet I had with the cake guru Duff Goldman)and it seems there are the usual fans, the arrogant fans who know EVERY last detail about the celeb and a few ‘ladies’ who could make more age appropriate and less revealing outfits. This is just what WE see so I am sure there are stories that could make our hair curl that only someone on the inside could tell. I’m sure its something no one even realizes could happen when they start being known for what they do well.

    When we do meet, you’ll forgive me for being a complete mess? LOL

  • April 10, 2012
    10:30 am

    PREACH, Julie Anne. My father is a lawyer, and he had to have an unlisted number all of my childhood because of exactly the kind of entitlement you describe–people calling and showing up at all hours of the day and night. And my husband is a very minor rock star, and has dealt with a lot of the same weird bullshit on a much smaller scale. People think they own you in some way when you’re a public figure–they imagine that they know you, the “real” you, because of the music/art/writing that you share with the world. Be happy with the parts of their creative selves that they are willing to share, and let them have normal lives!

    (Also, I love the way you put this: “We each have our own perspectives. It doesn’t change my reality unless I let it…”)

    • April 10, 2012
      11:18 am

      Amen, Hallelujah & Hooray!!!!!
      I must admit that in a few past blogs you wrote I thought you still weren’t over the things you went through in your marriage with Nick. Also I saw comments there were very disturbing; instigating.
      And in the beginning I followed you on Twitter were confrontational; going back in my mind to the years I was MADLY in love with Nick, and hating you for ‘having’ Nick.
      But I kept my (big) mouth shut; it’s (been) YOUR life, and YOUR friends/readers, who comment.
      I am a Duran Duran fan for almost 30 years, and I respect Nick these days for his work with the band, rather than behaving as a 15 year old, deranged jealous fan.
      And I respect you; for your work, and for (almost litteraly) saving my life: your week menus are easy, affordable and healthy! Without you, I still would have anaemia, I guess.

      • April 13, 2012
        7:04 pm

        I think quite a few people have gotten the wrong end of the stick here – I am not putting DD fans down, just pointing out the bad behavior of a very few misguided people (without naming names) that might benefit from looking at the other side of the coin, and showing each other, their idols, and the idol’s families a little respect.

        Thamar, you could still be that teenager hating me. It didn’t change my reality then, and it wouldn’t bother me now, because I don’t waste my time worrying about that stuff. BUT, hearing the PCA and my musings here actually helped you get well DOES rock my world! It inspires me to forge ahead when I get tired or feel like throwing in the towel (and I’m human – I do at times), so you see you just threw me a lifeline too.

        It doesn’t matter what catapulted our stratospheres to collide – what matters is it evolved from there, and we both found something positive from the collision.

  • April 10, 2012
    8:24 am

    Bravo Julie Anne! I can’t imagine how often you’ve had to bite a hole in your lip over commments that people make. I applaud you and your positive outlook and your kindness to the fans AND all those who enjoy coming to your blog and reading not only entertaining material, but thought provoking material as well.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:09 am

    Such a fantastic blog. I was lucky enough to meet Nick and John backstage at a gig in December. They were wonderful and gracious and I showed the the respect and I felt it was recognise. I have waited 31 years for the opportunity and they are wonderful, charming and interesting men. John in particular showed me much interest and I was truly blow-away by him.

    If you want to meet these guys, extend them some courtesy and be polite as humble and understanding to them and they are to you. John and I spoke for some time and it was wonderful. Nick was happy and willing for pictures to be taken and autographs to be given and so was John. I have something to hold in my heart for the hurdles that I have to face in my life at this time during serious illness.

    Never disrespect them. Remember how much they have helped you through with their music, and remember just how special they really are xx

  • April 10, 2012
    9:11 am

    Hear hear Julie Anne! I have no room for negative, nasty so-called fans, or people in fact. I am a huge fan of both Duran Duran and Nick Rhodes, and have been so since the age of 8, and I would NEVER stoop so low as to belittle or demean Nick (I have the utmost respect and admiration for him), or anyone associated with him. That is the mark of pure classless, rude behavior. I am horrified that someone would post nasty things about Nick’s girlfriend, on your facebook page.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:13 am

    I can’t believe DD fans still do that! Grow up, people! I am a longtime DD fan, but I would be so mortified to approach them while they are “off the clock.” I am so sorry you end up having to deal with this sort of thing, Julie Anne. The entitlement mentality is ridiculous and to bother you with it is nothing short of pathetic.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:14 am

    As a long time Duranie, I can honestly say there have been more times than I can remember when I have seen deranged behavior and heard comments of entitlement and thought ‘what the hell is wrong with that person?’ I’ve learned that the elevator doesn’t always reach the top floor in the house of mental health for many people. I’m glad you recognize we are not all like that and most of us are respectful, kind, fairly intelligent, well-rounded people.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:16 am

    I can’t wait to get my work to you regarding toxins in makeup & cleaners.:)

  • April 10, 2012
    9:29 am

    I will tell you I have seen DD 12 x in 30 yrs. and plan to continue to see them. In 2009 I saw them and was in front row, after joking around with Simon for a few, he invited a couple of us onstage. I made a beeline towards Nick. I’m surprised he didn’t have a stroke, lol. He was so into playing, eyes closed. I yelled his name, he looked @ me and grinned. Me, having the “child” come out, said “I love you! You’re my favorite!” He asked me my name and immediately I got swept up by security. That was my dream meet:)
    Last Sept. I got invited backstage by a local dj but missed her msg so I of course was “devastated”. I look @ it as the next time I see them it will happen and everything happens for a reason. So, there is a good reason there was never a meet n greet with these girls and the band. Be thankful for the concert, they are the best (next to SKILLET and Toby Mac)and I know a lot of people who would give their right arm just to see them. I have to say, Nick’s girlfriend’s style is awesome.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:31 am

    I was a DD fan – and somehow I am still. I am a grown up woman now, mother of a son, wife, professor at a University.
    But I have been a “duranette”. And a very proud one, I spent some days close to the band in Italy (of course you were there Jewels, and you are part of my fondest memories, but that is another story). And I can well remember the behaviour of some greedy fans – one moment adoring their popstars, the moment after insulting them because they were not invited into the hotel to take pictures or to talk with them. It is ridiculous that the mechanisms are still the same. It is childish and irritating. You did the right thing in writing this note. And you also did well in explaining that the privacy is sacred for everyone, not only for the “commoners”. One thing I remember well: I had the privilege of spending some time with my much cherished artist – Nick Rhodes – and his wonderful wife. They said I was chosen among many because I was quiet, smiling and unpretentious. As I said, i keep the memories of those days as one of the most precious ones. Jewels, precisely. 🙂

  • April 10, 2012
    9:43 am

    A very hearty clap on the back to you Julie Anne for putting these bullies in their place with the usual classy eloquence and dignity you show to all your contributors. I doubt if I could be a lady if faced with that kind of vitriol.
    I am truly gobsmacked that people have the cheek and gall to vent at you and have the absolute nerve to want their over-inflated sense of entitlement pandered to by whinging about your ex! What the hell is wrong with them?!
    And as for having a go at the lovely people who have contributed to your blog? That’s just the lowest of the low.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:53 am

    People just crack me up, who cares who he dates etc and what does it matter if he’s happy thats all that matters. Listen I have been a Duran fan since 84 and I have met them so many times, I’m surprise they don’t tell us to get a life lol But actually when they where last here in Philly , John actually came up to us and said “I was wondering when you ladies where going to show up”, thats how well they know us, they call us the PHILLY GIRLS lol Listen people trying to get backstage etc Don’t blame the band and from what I know they never stay back there after the show. If they do I’m shocked they usually leave right after.They’re the nicest group, sometimes they have their moments but who doesn’t. When I was younger I hated all their girlfriends but I was 13 what do you want lol Now , I’m nice to whoever they’re with, (I actually found some pics of you Julie and Tatjana that I took in 87) and you Julie were the nicest person. I remember you would always come down to talk to us, Yasmin too, I had given Simon a gift a few years before and Yasmin actually came up to me and told me he (Simon) still uses it on a daily basis lol. Some people just can’t grow up, I made a lot of Duran friends and love them all but some people just don’t know when to grow up. We are all adults, not 13 years old anymore. Let the guys have their on life, if you want to meet them, your time will come (not at their house, I have never been their and never will go). Yes I go to the hotel’s but they do not mind it , if you don’t act like a fool. It’s is common for them to come to us now not us go to them because they know us so well. So people, be a human being and act like one. Leave Julie alone. Nick has a life and so does she now…

  • April 10, 2012
    10:28 am

    well said…bravo…

    i have the answer for your last question…i frame my dd autographs and photos… they look nice on the wall along with other dd memorabilia.. odd enough, i have many autographs by nick..
    getting each of them always made me nervous as i stick to the one..neeeever meet your hero..

  • April 10, 2012
    11:14 am

    Julie Anne, this is the most heartfelt and truthful blog I have ever read!! I appauld you!!

  • April 10, 2012
    6:26 pm

    Another hard hitting post that should snap a few people directly on the nose. You are an amazing woman with a huge capacity for caring. It’s too bad that some people cannot respect, much less abide by certain apects of courteous behaviour. Truthfully, I don’t think of you in the context of being married at one time to a member of the band. I think of you as an honest, caring person who writes one heck of a sensible blog and has a zest for life that includes rather than excludes food. You’ve taught me to care enough about what I eat to take up cooking plus dare to believe that I can and have the right to try new adventures. People need to get a life and move on in their lives. You are not a link to Duran Duran, you are a wonderful person who is sharing cooking adventures with us as well as the recipes. I came upon your blog when I was looking for recipes to try and I had no knowledge that you were at one time married to a musician and didn’t make the connection for a while. It really isn’t any business of mine any more than I want to discuss my previous life in detail. I enjoy your travels down memory lane, and that is what they are, you sharing memories of an important part of your life, the events that made you who you are today. That would be a smart, business savy chef who wants to share her skills with others. Lots of love to you!

  • April 10, 2012
    11:27 am

    You tell em Jewels. I can’t believe people are that stupid.

  • April 10, 2012
    11:30 am

    Dear Jewels, oh my… When will People EVER learn? You have no idea how much I am fuming right now! How dare these people? Who do they think they are? I mean, hey, I’ve been a major DD fan back in the days but we both know I only stumbled upon your blog because of someone completely different. And although I love reading about your former life with Nick and your memories from that time what really truly inspires me is the person YOU are. I love your way of writing, your recipes are brilliant and way beyond yummy and can’t recall how many books I read because of you or how movies I wouldn’t have seen without your recommendations. So, I’m here because of you and only you!!
    The behaviour of these other people reminds of the “fans” a certain Canadian musician we both love has just because of him being friends with that certain British actor 😉
    So, I guess people will never change and I hope you will remain strong enough to always handle this with such grace.
    Please don’t ever stop writing and cooking and never let these people talk and bring you down.

  • April 10, 2012
    11:42 am

    Oh wow. I cannot imagine acting so disrespectful to anyone, let alone a complete stranger that I had made a part of my life in a fantasy world….what a sad, sad thing. I wonder if some of the older Durannies have trouble separating them from the videos of the 80s because they were so young when they first saw them and view them as almost super heroes? That coupled with a lack of maturity….

    Sorry you have to deal with this. As an admitted fan with a 9 year old daughter who is obsessed, I love DD but I would never bother any of them, or you, about it. Some people just have no boundaries.

    PS, sorry about the time I prank called your parents when I was in junior high. 😉

  • April 10, 2012
    11:55 am

    Oh my god people, get a life! Used to like DD as a teenager, tried to copy their looks and all the stuff, but life goes on…If I met them on the street now I would never think of stopping them..I prefer to look nostalgically at their glamorous photos of the 80’s, you all were so wonderfully cool!

  • April 10, 2012
    12:07 pm

    Dear Julie Ann
    First I will answer the question you ended with: We look at the pictures and reminiche. Like flicking through a photo album of familie, your travels, different time periods of your life. Its all very innocent 🙂 (personally I dont have autographs mainly cos I dont want them)

    Secondly I have to say something to you and I truely hope you take this in the spitrit its meant (Ill explain further down) Dear Julie Ann I dont care about you ..Now dont take this the wrong way but your just Nick Rhodes ex-wife and for me personally ex-wives and for that matter wives are really not to important to me. Freankly their private life is really non of my business. Let me explain:
    What IS important to me is the music and the talent thse five men has and they gift to us for over 34 years now.
    I truely dont care about families (other than I thank the families for sharing their loved ones with us) Im not entirely sure how many children they have (ok I know you and Nick has one daughter but that is easy to remember even for my scatter brain 😉 but I can never remember her name 🙂 )
    Reading your blog, and this is the first time and I even debated with myself if I should click the link on Twitter or not, I agree with many of the things you said. As you it baffles me that some fans behave like nutter lunatics and it sadens me as well.
    Like I said above the music is the core thing for me. Dont get me wrong I was a teen as well and Im still a woman and recognise the physical beauty of these five amazing men. A beauty that often has been a curse for them I know, as many critiques often failed to look beyond the looks and see the talent that was screaming towards them.
    Even fans has felt the scorn directed at them often. Like we are airheads that just go to drool over them cos they look good. Come on .. really? Ive been a devotee (yes I refuse to call myself a fan as it bears to much negativity) to the band for 29 years now. Its insulting towards my intelligence to assume I would do that just cos they look good. Dont get me wrong I like eyecandy as much as anyother woman but seriously for me to devote the time and not to mention money for nearly 30 years there has to be some substance.

    So I do wish that Duranies were looked uppon with more respect but I also realise that its funnier to look at the nutters than at the serious people. Maybe if I dance a can can while being serious it would help ? 😉

    One thing that do make me a bit sad is that the band seems to only wanna talk serious with the male Duranies and not so much with us females. Ok so I dont know a lot of the tech wordings but Im truely truely interested and would consider it a true honour to speak with them about music and lyrics and producing etc etc. So if I have one wish for the bands interaction with the Duranioes and especially the females ones its for them to see us, not as the screaming horde of insane girls we once was but as grownup women that has a true passion for music. Maybe one day 🙂

    and with that I wish you a wonderful day Julie Ann and just know if I ever bump into you I wont say hi, because I most likely wont remember what you look like 😉

    Respectfully yours

    (oh btw pardon me for the typos, I tend to be lazy and not read through when I make comments 🙂 )

  • April 10, 2012
    12:09 pm

    I’m sorry this issue has come up again. I truly don’t understand people sometimes. I remember you writing about this issue months ago when DD were performing in LA and you had complete strangers asking for tickets, backstage passes, etc.

    I’m amazed that grown women revert to being catty teenagers, 30 years later! Here’s an idea. You love the band. Be happy that the people in it are happy, healthy and still making music.

    And, I’m personally happy that Jewels is here to give us cooking tips, yummy recipes and share stories!

  • April 10, 2012
    12:10 pm

    Great blog, it’s about time you said something about this,you go Jewels!!

  • April 10, 2012
    12:17 pm

    I can’t believe you actually had to write a blog post to tell people what they should have the common sense to know: that just because someone may be a public figure doesn’t mean they are in the public eye 24/7. They are people just like you and I, they are not public property, and they are entitled to their privacy too.

    The fact that people would actually post to your blog, Facebook page, etc., with some of the things you described floors me. As someone else said, grow up people!

    I live in the same neighborhood as some of the players on one of our professional sports teams. I won’t mention which city/team, but we did win a championship last year. We see the players out and about because they are our neighbors. Someone asked me what we do when we see them. At the most, we smile and maybe say “hi, how’s it going”. That’s it.

    My husband did meet one of them (who was by himself, we’d never bother someone if they were with their family) a few months after the championship, and just politely thanked him for a great season. They shook hands, and my husband also said, “I’m one of your neighbors, so I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other around” and they both laughed.

    My husband said this guy was a total class act when he met him, but I am sure that had to do a lot with the fact that he didn’t make an ass out of himself or act like a deranged fan. I also wouldn’t dream of camping out on their doorstep waiting for them. I am way to old for that kind of nonsense. The way I look at it, they are our neighbors first, public figures second. I know wouldn’t like it very much if someone were waiting on my front doorstep or intruded on my private time, so we accord them that same respect.

  • April 10, 2012
    12:53 pm

    Hey Jules, good on you for creating this blog with your thoughts on this matter. I totally agree I have been a fan of DD since they started, unfortunately I have never had the pleasure of meeting them let alone be able to make it to one of their shows, (don’t own a car) makes it tough to get to Toronto. I missed them in the past year which I was upset about but I would love to meet them one day before I leave this world (Meet DD, bucket list to do’s) Nick has become my favourite over these past yrs, I used to really have the hots for Johnny too. Me being a Gemini having a few things in common with them is pretty cool. Ok I have gone on long enough about that. Anyways, I love what you have said here and I stand behind you 100%. You rock lady!! Have a great day and take care.
    From your food fan.
    Patricia
    P.S. Nothing wrong with whomever Nick dates as long as the man is happy, that is all that matters. I say hi to him from Canada.

  • April 10, 2012
    1:03 pm

    These people get on my nerves too and I can’t understand why they keep bothering you about things there are not under your control…I mean, live and let live! Ok, I’m a Duranie, but I wouldn’t go and write you stupid things like that. You are completely right to say! Some people need to realise how stupidly they’re acting. We’re not teens anymore, and we gotta stop acting like we were.

  • April 10, 2012
    1:03 pm

    Jewels, I’ve never understood why fans of any particular celebrity forget that celebrities are people, just like the rest of us. I’ve been fortunate to meet DD several times……. I’ve even had SLB snup me at a radio event, which was work time for them. It didn’t faze me a bit….. I mean he can’t be “on” 24/7. However, I feel I must defend Nick to anyone who thinks he was being dishonest. Every time I have had the opportunity to meet Nick he was always available to all of the fans around and very warm and inviting. It’s so obvious he adores DD fans. At one meeting, we were talking and he wanted to know where I got the magazine I wanted him to sign. When I told him a friend brought it back to me from the UK when she flew across the pond to see them, he jokingly asked, why I hadn’t gone. When I told him, my husband & I had planned the trip, but had to cancel due to my mother being diagnosed with cancer, he was concerned. He actually spent the next several minutes asking me questions about my mother, her treatment, how she was, and how my family holding up, etc. He really wanted to know……. I have always felt he tries to make every moment a fan gets with him their “moment.” He deserves a little respect when it comes to his private time and private life. We all do….

  • April 10, 2012
    2:44 pm

    Julie Anne, this was just an awesome read. Thank you for writing this…very well done and you hit the nail on the head. All the best to you and yours.

  • April 10, 2012
    3:09 pm

    Back in the day, I just knew you as the pretty, statuesque, model, wife, standing beside a member of Duran Duran as seen in pictures and magazines.

    I admit I took an interest in following you on Twitter because of Nick. But now, through your use of social media, you’ve revealed yourself to be a beautiful person on the inside too, who is just normal, and has many things about you I can relate to, with similar likes, problems, and dreams.

    I have come to like you, for you, not for your connection to Duran Duran anymore.

  • April 10, 2012
    3:15 pm

    I got mentally exhausted reading this so I can only image how you feel. People should just know how to behave. It takes allot of courage to blog. Julie always has an open forum. Grow up people ! I won’t meet Duran Duran in my life time that’s just fine with me. I don’t care about who they date. I care about who I date. We are so lucky to have Jewles! RESPECT HER !

    • April 11, 2012
      9:13 am

      I couldn’t even answer any of the posts yesterday because I was exhausted reading it all too. It was never my intention to offend anyone. I merely wanted to say a). no name calling petty bitching allowed towards people I consider friends and colleagues allowed here (take it somewhere else if you can’t refrain), and try not to be so selfish with demands of celebrities – recognize there needs to be some boundaries, because obsessive behavior effects more than just you and the celeb concerned.

  • April 10, 2012
    4:08 pm

    I have always, always said the same thing you said above “All you are owed for the price of your ticket is a great show”. Duran Duran have never failed in that area.

    I have had the pleasure of meeting Nick a couple of times backstage and he was charming and gracious. I thought that was beyond awesome, my dear friend and I have awesome memories and a couple photos to remember the day. Good enough for me!

    I can also say, I have an ex-husband. What he does, beyond how my children might be affected, is not only none of my business, but something I don’t *care* to make my business. There is a reason he is my EX.

    And for the comment about the Duran fan guest poster: I have met a number of Duranies (I have an excellent idea whom is being referred to here) and I can attest that there are some very intellegent women among them. Certain ones that post for you happen to be BRILLIANT in all senses of the term.

  • April 10, 2012
    5:36 pm

    answer to your burning question: they build “shrines” or tumblr pages…to show off how they “know” these people, when they don’t know anything. they put these poor people up on pedestals, where they really don’t belong. then proceed to help others make their lives a misery by demanding more and more from them.

    i feel sorry for the famous, because most of them do try to give fans what they want up to a certain point.

    but i also feel sorry for that one “fanatic” who has to push things too far and ruin it for everyone else. that mental case who really needs professional help and for whatever reason, just doesn’t get it.

    rather off the cuff and not completely thought out, but hopefully making the point. have a wonderful Wednesday!

  • April 10, 2012
    5:37 pm

    I am SO with you! Many of us have had discussions about these things. We see fans who really make us so angry because they give us all a bad name. I hate that. Now, I will admit to occasionally doing some light “stalking’, like hanging out near a hotel lobby hoping to see the guys, or whatever, but it is all part of the fun to just be with my friends while we wait. I have over the years, had some chances to meet the guys @ signings and in a few other places. Unfortunately, most all of those times have been very rushed. (My one real treasured memory, though was in 2001, when I got to speak with Wes for over an hour and I cherish that time now that he is gone.) I do have autographs, but for me, it is about the memory of meeting them. I don’t have a ton of them, and I would never sell one I got personally. I also don’t buy signed stuff just because it is signed. If I wasn’t there, it is just not the same for me. I love having opportunities to speak to the guys and would still really love to get some photos with them. But I am patient and will wait for an appropriate time. I would not DREAM of bothering someone @ home! I might be guilty of being in a car that someone drove PAST a home, but I would NEVER stop and knock, nor would I stand by and allow anyone else to do so. It is SO rude. I hear stories about how people meet the guys out and about and sometimes they are met with happy, friendly welcoming and other times, they are sort of brushed off. I understand that. I would be the same way. There are times you just can’t deal with people. This is why i have never had a real conversation with Simon yet. I can tell when he does not wish to be bothered or interrupted. I hang back and wait for another chance later. I figure it will come. I waited this long. I can be patient.

    As for the comments about their significant others, I am amazed @ what I see. Appalling behaviour from people who claim to “love” the guys. I may have personal reasons not to be particularly fond of someone’s wife, but it is not because they are with them and I am jealous. And if that person being in their life makes them happy or keeps them from being self-destructive, then I am grateful they are there. And quite frankly, I rather adore some of their SOs. Even if I DID have something negative to say, I would NEVER go vent about it to someone like YOU. I mean what makes these people think you want to get into all of that?? Do they expect as an ex, you will sympathize with them? I don’t get it. And the things posted online can be read by ANYONE, including the children of the guys they “love” so much. Do they not care if they hurt them? It is so inconsiderate.

    Yeah, I am with you on this. And I have to say that I never used to know what you were like. I still don’t really know what you were like back then. But I know that you are the kind of person I like now. You have a level head and I think you handle all of this well, with grace and dignity. I thank you for all of the great things you share. I hope what you’ve posted here leaves an impression on those who would be guilty of this awful behaviour.

  • April 10, 2012
    5:41 pm

    I don’t understand why people would attack the people in the guys lives. I for one try & be supportive of these people. There is a reason the guys are with someone. Even is we don’t see what they see in somebody. I have seen the behavior first hand with local sports stars. People calling other women nasty names because they are with these men. I am just thinking you don’t even know her. Who are you to say anything.

  • April 10, 2012
    5:44 pm

    I don’t understand why people would attack the people in the guys lives. I for one try & be supportive of these people. There is a reason the guys are with someone. Even is we don’t see what they see in somebody. I have seen the behavior first hand with local sports stars. People calling other women nasty names because they are with these men. I am just thinking you don’t even know her. Who are you to say anything. I hope people are treating you well. I hope people realize if you are hurting the people in the guys lives you are hurting the guys as well.

  • April 10, 2012
    9:02 pm

    I have been a devoted Duranie since I was 11 yrs old, i’m now a 40 yr old happily married mother of 3, and I can say as much as I love my idols, I love hearing about their happiness even more. I have been in restaraunts where somebody famous that I admired was dining at the same time and I felt so sorry for them that their fans would not even allow them the privacy to enjoy their meal or time with their families. this is why no matter how much I would love to walk up and meet them, I refrain and give them their privacy. if its a meet and greet before a game or a concert then thats the time to do exactly that, meet and greet. the rest of the time they deserve to have their privacy just like we do. they don’t owe us a thing outside a concert performance for the ticket we purchase. I have been a fan of yours as well Julieanne since you first started appearing in magazines along side Nick. and I become an even bigger fan everytime I read one of your blogs or try one of your recipes. Thank you so much for sharing your memories with us and for being so classy even if its not a fond memory!

  • April 10, 2012
    9:12 pm

    Jewels, i love you more and more every day!

    i was a duranie from way back (hey, i was 12, john was hot…the hormones were kicking in!). i listen to DD one in awhile, but i’ll admit- there was an entire decade when i didn’t listen to anything by them at all.

    when i recently watched the PBS documentary on The Savoy Hotel in London…and saw Nick in it…all i could think was, “eh, i wonder if Jewels has seen it!” (BTW, i was completely fascinated with the head butler story subplot. as both an historian and american, english butlers are intriguing to study.)

    when i found your blog, i’ll admit that i became YOUR fan in an interesting way. two things, really:

    1) your stories of France when DD were recording… it seems so melancholy yet has nothing to do with the band. i love France; i studied there for a year in college. your stories made me wistful. to me, your blogs had an underlying theme of loneliness. i thought, if only for a few years…we’d could’ve met, been friends, and explored the countryside with all the wonderful things France has to offer! you blogs brought back some great memories for me, so i thank you for that. i just hope that your memories were more happy than sad.

    2) but what really made me YOUR fan was your blog about the tennis player. OMG, i had a crush on stefan edberg; i could totally relate- another midwestern chick crushing on those tennis men! i laughed; i cried; i had to do a search online to see what mr. edberg is currently up to… i think that’s my favorite blog of yours to date!

    ************
    as for photos of our “idols”….

    two years ago, my mom and i finally met Tori Amos in a pre-concert meet and greet (which, if your a tori fan, you know are legendary).

    i got a quick photo with her, but i really just wanted to meet her to say simply “thank you for saving my life”. it’s a complicated story, but with complete honesty her music saved my life in more ways than one.

    if not for tori amos, i think i might have given up on life during a really dark period of my life (which, thank God, is in my past review mirror!!!).

    so to me, the one photo of us together is a reminder of what i’ve overcome, and what i have to be grateful for in my life. it is a reminder to stay strong and keep going forward.

    i thanked tori; started crying. she started crying. we hugged. my mom started crying. my mom who was raped as a child, thanked tori for her efforts for rape victims.

    it was much, much more than a fan/idol meeting. it was thanking her for saving my life; so the photo is much more than a photo.

    **********
    i’m sure there must be some DD fans around the world that feel the same way; DD music was their light in the dark. the boys’ smirks and smiles were the only laughter during their dark periods.

    every celebrity is a fan of something or someone else. i do remember ready those blogs about nick and warhol! 🙂 irregardless, respect is always, ALWAYS appreciated. don’t do something to someone else that you do not want done to yourself. the words “please” and “thank you” and “i’m sorry to disturb you” work like magic. to me, these situations are off limits: 1) when a ‘celeb’ is with their kids, 2) eating, 3) in the bathroom, 4) at home! one’s home is one’s sanctuary- respect that please.

    -icicle pamela (who is grateful to have found Jewels blogs, and is encouraged to eat and be healthy by her and her GUEST blogs as well!)

    (i don’t understand animosity against the guest blogs; isn’t this supposed to be a community where everyone encourages everyone to become a better person and be healthy? i like the guest blogs; everyone has the same issues but different approaches to solving them. it’s like a global think tank; one problem solving blog might not work for me, but the next one might have an answer that i’ve been looking for! besides, who doesn’t want to look at pretty pictures of different meals and try something new to eat in our lives? it’s like going on vacation without leaving our homes!)

    • April 11, 2012
      9:34 am

      I get that music can mean a great deal to people, and I agree that if someone chooses to live a public life, they have to respect their fans and go the extra mile WHEN in a public environment. There is a right and wrong place for everything, and as you pointed out – meet and greets at concerts or other public appearances are the correct times for that – providing people realize it is a courtesy, not an obligation – sometimes it just isn’t possible – so respect that, and be glad you got to see them perform – that is what you paid to and ARE entitled to.

  • April 11, 2012
    4:59 am

    Bravo Julie Anne. Well done.
    As a Duran Duran fan from way back and a PCA member I cannot believe that there are people out there that would stoop so low and say things that really should not be said at all (and they call themselves a Duran Duran fan). No Duran Duran fan would do such a thing. There is a line you do not cross.

    P.S Love the shot in Sydney.

  • April 11, 2012
    8:38 am

    I apologize for not having been to the point. I realize that I should have focused more on the level of stolen privacy and intimacy – as well as on the rudeness of internet communication – than on my personal memories that were connected to DD. Please feel free to delete my previous comment, as I see is not contributing at all. I am definitely on this blog because of the recipes, the general approach to life and the style. Terribly sorry indeed.

    • April 11, 2012
      8:49 am

      I know your intentions were from a kind and loving heart. Your comment actually really touched me, and it is lovely to hear from kids back in the day that are all grown up now, and hopefully very happy. I just don’t want to make my site all about DD – they were an important part of my past that certainly effected who I am today, but I would like to steer the comments more towards the phenomena of fame in general.

      • April 11, 2012
        9:04 am

        Thank you, I’ll be more careful for the future. Fame can be a damnation, I can well imagine how difficult can be managing a private life when people don’t forgive you of being a successful woman, now and in the past years. My humble suggestion is being firm in your own values and principles, which include respect for the people you communicate with, and demanding respect from them. No infringement to this simple rule, or you (I mean in general) will find yourself entrapped. Enraged, violated, distrustful and – somehow- willing to keep distance form people, which is in my opinion the worst effect of fame.

  • April 11, 2012
    9:36 am
  • April 11, 2012
    12:57 pm

    I have to comment on the “life in a fishbowl”. I grew up with a father who was a physician. People had no reservations about calling all hours of the night to get medical advise. They would interrupt family dinners, Sundays, parties, etc. as if he had nothing else to do but to attend to them. My father would have never asked our neighbors or other professionals to perform their jobs for us for free (ex. ask a CPA to do his taxes, ask a plumber to fix a leak, etc. ) but many had no qualms about asking him to do the same. When I got older and someone called to ask advise, I would tell them his office hours and that they needed to make an appointment!

  • April 11, 2012
    4:04 pm

    On what happens to Photo’s and Autographs. Well most of the photo and books and I have have ended up in a cardboard box from moving and never unpacked. That goes for my Star Trek autographs. There in a box somewhere.

    Unfortunately the internet has it’s trappings of false security for some, giving people the bravado to say (by writing) things they would never say to the person face to face. Even more so when it’s famous people. Good for you on making your terms known and keep on deleting.

  • April 11, 2012
    4:11 pm

    I think the “people” who choose to insult Nick’s girlfriend on YOUR blog and Facebook page, have some twisted sense that maybe doing so will cause you to admire them more, because of their “allegiance” to you over some new woman in Nick’s life. I can’t think of any other reason to air such grievances on YOUR pages. As for the autograph question – I think most fans want them because it is “something” that the star, celebrity, etc put their own hands on specifically for you, the fan. As for the autograph that I asked you for,(for anyone who doesn’t know what I am referring to, see Jewels post about being single)I only asked for it because I didn’t know what else to say to you; you had me tongue-tied and I desperately wanted to talk to you. LOL I think I may have caught some flack, on your Facebook page – from one of your followers, for that comment. I sincerely hope that I didn’t offend you in anyway – it was a harmless teenage crush.

    Anyway, thanks for always “keeping it real” Jewels!

    Cheers,
    Dawn

  • April 12, 2012
    7:06 am

    Bravo Jewels! Some people just need filters on their mouths!! Kinda like Hannibal LOL..Love you and all you stand for..also great cooking! xo

  • April 12, 2012
    9:21 am

    “PS. I have a burning question – what do people do with SO many autographs and photos of their idols?”

    Funny Julie Anne, I was talking the other day about this to a fellow Duranie, we were amazed of seeing people repeatdly asking autographs once, twice, three times. I found out that some of these people sell it on e-bay. Ridiculous. An autograph – at least for me, personally – represents a mark of a moment, I met the guys in Rio and got their autographs, great! It’s nothing more like a souvenir from that special moment.

    There was this guy there trying to get more than 2 autographs from Simon and I heard when Simon said “Just one per person”. He already knows. Now, what I think is really stupid is people who buy these items on the internet. I mean, this autograph wasn´t meant for YOU! Why would you want it? D:

    I guess people like these are not real fans, they are trying to make it a business…

    But worst than that, I had to deal with fans that think they are some sort of property. Not only Duran duran fans, but A-ha fans, Paul McCartney fans, every concert I go I observe the behaviour of some people.

    Back on the Duran duran matter, there were these girls once who stayed at the hotel door waiting for John Taylor, back in 2008, one day before I met them. I got there in the afternoon to find out that some girls have grabbed John and hurt him with their nails!! =O He was so pissed that he said to security we wouldnt come back downtairs for the rest of that day – and they killed my chance to talk to him. I was really pissed at those girls and avoid going any place these crazy people go.

    Fortunately, I came back to the hotel the day after, and John had changed his mind. He was really sweet, and I kinda felt sorry for him, to have to deal with this crazyness sometimes. But I guess is part of the business. The negative part. When you deal with lots of people, you have the chance of getting some percentage of these type.

    I plan on trying to talk to the guys again, Duran duran will have a concert in my hometown, Rio de Janeiro. I’ve made a custom Ken doll of Nick and I think it would be a funny gift for him. I don’t want autographs, I already have it. All I want is to deliver it. If I get to deliver, great! If I don’t, I’ll conform, keep the doll in a locker and wait for a better oportunity! We just have to be patience…people tend to think that it’s “the end of the world” and they have to do anything it’s possible to see them. Duh. ¬¬

    I have a blog, and even not having much visitors, I was once attacked just for saying I don’t like Lady Gaga songs. It seems to me that some people think they own the truth, and can manipulate other people at their will. It’s up to us to show they are wrong, just like you did. Congratulations, Julie, this is one of the best posts I’ve read.

    Kisses =***

  • April 12, 2012
    10:41 am

    After reading all these comments, and thinking about all the things I’ve done and said, and I thought I was entitled to, as a ‘fan’, also from other bands, makes me feel embarrased, and trying to find that deep, dark hole in the ground…
    Okay; I was young, and I didn’t mean to do any harm, but that is no excuse.
    I really was thinking of famous people being human and normal, entitled to their own private life’s, but my actions spoke a little louder at the time, I’m afraid.

  • April 12, 2012
    3:48 pm

    Hi Jewels!

    Just now reading this blog post after “hearing” a lot about it on Facebook from my Duranie friends. I agree with you that demeaning behaviour on any website is immature and does no good for anyone. Like you, I am good friends with my ex, and we co-parent (we often say our daughter is the one thing we got “right” in our relationship.). 🙂 She’s 12,so several years younger than yours; but you and Nick prove a good point. You will be in each other’s lives for MANY MANY years because you DO have a daughter together. What does it hurt to be happy for the other person because they’ve become involved with someone, or they’ve found success, etc.? And I have to comment that it’s SO ridiculous that fans would bring “band drama” over to your site. I will admit that I found out about it because I AM a DD fan, but that’s the beauty of the internet. It’s kind-of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” only with URLs…LOL! Because of the band, I found you and your site, and have gotten to “know” more about you and your life. That’s what I come here for…you (but mostly your blog, since I love food, but don’t really cook). I love what you have to say, and I will continue reading. 🙂

  • April 13, 2012
    4:22 pm

    Thanks for doing this blog Julie Anne. I enjoy reading your stories – and I can easily relate to you in many ways from loving your child the way you do and how you feel about Daisy. My daughter who is now 14 holds on to her precious Dumbo stuffed animal from her childhood (it is well loved). I didn’t read what was written that caused you to make this particular post. Hopefully all of the comments others have written made that person aware of their immaturity. I am a Nick fan and I have met him twice (when he was at work) and both times he was so wonderful. Nick is probably the only famous person (living) that I would put myself out there to approach and possibly be rejected and if that happened I would get over it.

    I do tell my daughter not to post things on facebook or twitter you cant take back and I think she gets that – if for nothing else she knows she will feel my wrath if she doesn’t. I think that is good advice for any age.

    P

  • April 13, 2012
    7:48 pm

    If you knew the vivid memory recall I had reading this – back to little Tatjana clutching hold of her Dumbo for dear life everywhere we went, ahhhhhh. Yes, we do all have SO much more in common than not!

  • May 3, 2012
    9:23 pm

    Hi sweetie, only just found your website – talk about SLOW??!
    Do you still make your killer ‘chocolate Chip Cookies’. Remember rehearsals for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. You brought a massive plate of cookies in, no’one spoke for ages cos we were all devouring the cookies – sheer BLISS!!
    Hope life is treating you well, I can’t get onto Facebook at the mo, so I hope you get this – would be lovely to hear from you if you get a chance?
    Lots of love to you and Tajy!!
    Koz
    xXx

  • June 7, 2012
    3:06 pm

    I read Andy’s book to learn more about the genesis of the band, their roots, influences, etc. I was never a groupie-type fan (was a tad too young) but DD are a main musical influence of mine. Andy’s book was so tinged with regret and thinly-veiled spite, I’m sure that was irritating, though I did learn a lot. Looking forward to John’s book for a more clever and clear perspective. The insights and memories you pepper in your blog are really fun. Thanks for sharing. Best to you in your business.

  • September 23, 2012
    11:53 pm

    Julie, you go girl!! So sorry that people are and can be so rude and ignorant, as well as pyscho.

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